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Back 2 School

You could not live with your own failure? Where did that bring you?

Back to School

I started my first class today. and it felt wonderful

Wow. those are some words I never thought would come out of my mouth.

School and myself have always had a not so positive relationship. Whether it was disciplinary issues in elementary School (ADHD for the win!) Or my 8th grade Bio Teacher bullying me for being colour blind To just out right not doing home work in High school and lets not talk about the college years (I mean you try going to class while going to school in Miami as a young adult)

When I graduated the University of Miami, I never thought I would be going back to school. School just never really resonated with me. I mean I had my moments of brilliance and love for certain classes, teachers or professors, but overall it just didn’t work for me. Looking back it seems like a lack of maturity, would be the main culprit, but I think a lot of it came from the fact that quite frankly I didn’t give a damn about what I was learning. I didn’t have a passion for what I was spending so much time doing so to me it seemed like a waste of my time.

All of these feelings of animosity and annoyance with school, were absent today when I started my class. I no longer and looked at the clock and hope for the next break and when it was over i felt a little sad. I really didn’t think I would have these feelings around school, but here I am. It truly makes a difference having a passion for something. It makes learning exciting and even kind of addictive. I mean years ago I would blow off homework for video games, but now I think of researching and studying while playing video games.

All jokes and memes aside, it is very satisfying to have a passion. I realized that my mindset going through school, was just “make money”. That isn’t a bad mindset, its actually a great mindset, but my heart wasn’t quite in it. That may be why I floated through my school years not really caring, not going the extra mile, not actually learning, just going through the motions checking the boxes. But now I feel so different about what I am studying. I really love it. It’s interesting to me, it’s challenging to me, and perhaps one of the most intriguing things about it is the fact that the knowledge to acquire seems endless, and so very practical. Not to mention the fact that so much of the knowledge is free and open source! I finally understand the passion so many other people have for their field of work, and their field of study. For once, I can actually see myself possibly pursuing a higher degree or at the least attempting to publish a white paper in the future.

Who knows, this could just be a “honeymoon effect” with the subject, but I don’t feel that is the case. The more i think about it, i actually feel like I am enjoying what I am doing for the first time in a while and not just going through the motions and checking boxes!

Anyway, Sorry for the short and non technical post. I was very excited about my course and haven’t written on here in a while (don’t want to let down my scores of readers ;) you know who you are).

as a small update, I am currently working through the portswigger academy in my free time, which I feel is helping me get to the point where maybe I can start taking on some bug bounties, that will be where the real fun in this blog will be. For now you will have to tolerate my musings.

This post is licensed under CC BY 4.0 by the author.